This House Never Felt Like A Home

Indian Kurta

This house never felt like a home
A family resides with a cheerful exterior
Behind closed doors the situation was dire
A happy dynamic was for fairytales and movies
Things that were written in childhood stories
The reality was much different
Merely coexisting with one another
Yet frustration appeared quite regularly
The equation was never balanced
Arguments echoed from room-to-room
Another topic, another debate
Heated discussions with loveless words
All heard from an isolated bedroom on the top floor
In the dark, trying to reflect
4am regrets
By myself, anxiety, misery
Victimised, scrutinised
It’s in the culture, the traditions
Bright colours, lavish weddings, grand displays
Concealing the underlying factor
The lack of compatibility and affection
Never once a concern
Priorities were misguided
Shopping for happiness but it wasn’t for sale
Flashiness will never prevail but they were unaware
Most families yearned for status and wealth
However dealing with the consequences were the children
The light of the future
Now dimmed, nearly nonexistent
I woke up this morning and asked myself
Is life worth living?
Lord help me, this ain’t right
Dark secrets linger in the shadows
Obscure thoughts
Baggage from past relationships and situations
Parents from a generation of sacrifices, compromises
I’m here to prove it worthwhile
Screwed up but I’ll be gentle
Weight on my shoulders from modern society
In comparison to history
It’s nothing but a speck of dust
Problem after problem
Stress was an understatement
Where a house never felt like a home
Express your emotions, speak your truth
But was it mine to tell?
To yell at the world
Perhaps it should have remained a secret
Between four walls and a door
But the bitterness danced at the tip of my tongue
Waiting to jump out
Any moment now, here it comes
This house never felt like a home
Was this my reality or a story of another?

What makes a home?

Until next time, stay blessed and classy,

2 Comments

  1. June 13, 2018 / 1:12 pm

    Such an incredible journey.
    I hope sweetness boogies next time
    On your tongue’s tip.

    I will be wondering whether this is your journey or a dream

    • tajinder
      Author
      June 13, 2018 / 2:27 pm

      Glad you enjoyed the journey, I’m sure sweetness will be present next time as it’s all a balancing act. It could be either, that’s the beauty of it.

      Tx.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *